Does a Bear Sh*t in the Woods?

Just ask Charmin.

Okay, folks, I can accept that toilet paper is a universal need. I can accept that advertisers work hard to make their product stand out. However, is it my imagination, or have toilet paper ads gotten grosser over the last few years? It used to be the creepy little Quilted Northern quilters who irked me. Sadly, each successive ad with the Charmin bears forces me to recall fondly the days of animated quilters and discussions of lint.

I really don't know what makes me queasier: the images of bears using the great outdoors as their commode, or the horrifying question of what they do with the toilet paper after they use it. Really. Play out those commercials to their logical end and you come up with a not so pristine forest floor. Sure, the animated toilet paper hangs nicely over the branch, but, uh, where does it go from there, Charmin?

Really, what would Woodsy say?